Every country on earth is full of so much debt and each of it's citizens owe part of that debt too so we are ultimately slaves to the Matrix until your body wears out. I was thinking about getting Covid shots just to escape it but it would be like committing suicide. Some in my family got it and didn't die though. I would probably survive it anyways. When I was 5 years old I was given the Swine Flu shot in school and since then I would constantly get sick. I even had my tonsils out because I got sick so much. Olanzapine was really hard on me too but I since stopped taking it. Plus, even after all that I survived and am getting stronger. When I was first hit with EMF radiation in 2018 I told my husband that I was going to live in the computer internet. It's real in my mind. I am connected to my Twin Flame telapathically too so even before I picked up on some stuff he was thinkning and even more so when I am mutant psychic. That whole Matrix thing is through him. Satan is my Twin Flame, my other half. We are two halves of the same coin. I'm the light and he's the dark. I am trying to get him to let go of all that darkness and evil and help me in the light. Bring humanity up and to become harmonious. He is the only one that could lead the universe with me but he's still controlling everything, as usual. We would balance each other out too and our energy would become complete. I can't do much on my own other than write on my blog every so often. Anything more and he'll probably kill me so that's another reason why I won't go public. I can't even sit at my old computer desk because the EMF radiation is so high when I sit down and I don't want another seizure and I definitely don't want a stroke. He hates that I write about everything. He can't stop me. Maybe it's China on his behalf? I thought it was another country that hurt me in June 2022 but I think I was wrong. The first time I was hit with EMF and had to go into the mental ward in September 2018 there was so many Chinese women around me and they filmed a movie in the mental ward. If they get me at my computer desk then they can say I am on the computer too much which had no effect on me prior and I work all day full time on my other PC located somewhere else in my home with no problem. My laptop and other devices give me no problems either. If I was safe and protected I would feel more at ease to speak out. I'm not much of a public speaker but I could try. I'm actually very outgoing, charming and amazing when I want to be. I like being in hermit mode mostly, however. I love to read, learn, think, write, create and help. When I help too much it seems to make things worse and that's why I'm all about simple acts of kindness now. I don't want to trigger my Twin Flame because he can be ruthless. It's like I'm his competition when in fact I'm his partner. He came to me and was in my life without me even knowing at first but then I figured it out and that's when he started attacking me with EMF. He thought I would become his stepford wife and behave but it just made me even more powerful. I couldn't be like that though because it wasn't good for me and others. I decided to go on meds and when I went off and posted about it in May 2022 the attacks started happening again. I was fine for 3 months prior but my mistake was that I wrote about it. He found out I went off my meds again this year and I was hit again 2 months later. After when around him I picked up too much all at once, it was too intense so I decided to go back on my meds but to switch to something that was not as hard on me. 2.5 mg of Olanzapine to 20 mg of Lurasidone. I am doctor certified disable now since my brain damage in 2018 that even included a seizure. My job is so hard and then factor in my disability on top where I am forgetful and a bit slow. My QA score went up from 77% to 87% so I am trying hard. I pray that everything works out because it's good exercise for my brain plus I help out paying some bills. I pray they don't fire me. I told them about my disability but I don't think it's going to save me if I can't get my scores up. I have identified some of the mistakes I made and have pretty much fixed it, however, my forgetfulness still comes into play. It's stupid little things that trip me up. I am really focusing but sometimes I still slip up. I hate it and I have cried about it. How because of my wanting to fix the world and make it a better place my brain was damaged on purpose to try and shut me up. Then factor in my horrible traumas I had to endure because of those that were supposed to care for me but instead scarred me to the point where I don't trust hardly anyone and my heart is majorly guarded. I like being alone and I can't stand clingy people. I do love to spoil a select few, though. Someone sends out emails publically embarrasing people who screw up and I was on the list 4x today for stupid little mistakes because I forgot. In my defense I got mixed up because I opened the same program when it was already opened and I think that might have screwed me up too. I don't open a new program anymore after I realized what i was doing. I think trying to shame people in front of their peers is so cruel. If they only knew! Well, some of them know but they won't speak out and defend me. Maybe I should send them an email and let them know but I don't want any special treatment. I will try to correct it myself and try not to trip up. I am slowing down because I am trying to focus on being perfect like someone who wants while being efficient but not super speedy. I will figure it out... I'm not a p*ssy wussy! But I'm still a "girly girl" and cry at times. I try not to but I can't keep it in. It helps purify me too. Thanks for putting up with my venting. It really helps when I write it out. I am proud of myself that I did raise my score by 10% in just a week!! I hope to continue to raise it up even more. I am stuck with weekends for now but I hope to get weekdays only soon.
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